Resentment – any benefit?


Something for nothing?

Time for another look at some of the things that getting a bug free mind can help with.

Those of you who know me will be aware that a while ago a friend of mine, Rebecca, was kind enough to introduce me to a set of books that have literally changed the way I see things in terms of how much control we have over our existence.

A Big Claim

That may sound like a big claim and it is, it also happens to be true. Things changed for me that day and they are still changing now.


Some people are afraid of change and that can be something that holds them back big time! My thoughts on that are, be open minded and don’t judge, just observe. Remember, Judgment is weakness, observation is power.

Who is Andy Shaw?

The guy who wrote the books is called Andy Shaw and I have had the pleasure of spending some time with him face-to-face without any distractions, really getting to the bottom of this process and understanding how it works.

I am on my sixth read through of the first book of the series, Creating a Bug Free Mind, and, as Andy says, there are things that you read on later read throughs that you never heard the first, second or subsequent times through. That is how powerful your ego is at trying to hold you back.

What is your Ego and How do you relate to it?

One of the big things I have discovered going through this process is that your ego is actually trying to hold you back. You don’t necessarily know this at all right now and you may not even recognise that it could be an issue for you, just go with it for now and don’t judge.

Your ego can be that doubting voice your hear in your head whenever you think about doing something maybe slightly different to normal. Something that might actually be good for you but is just a bit different, or may be very different!

Anyway, if you want to find out more about the bug free mind process you can check this page out. Andy has various offers on from time to time for people who are interested in taking control of their lives and making a difference for themselves and their families and friends.

Back to the reason for this post…

Not sure where all that came from as I was really going to write about resentment today.

The other day I had the pleasure of talking to a friend who I met on one of the days that I spent with Andy Shaw. She is someone else who is becoming bug free. We were talking about the thought that it isn’t always an easy process, that is, unless you decide it is going to be. (That is something that you can learn, things don’t have to be hard or difficult in this life if you choose for them not to be. That’s a bit deep maybe, stick with it though, it will ┬ápay dividends!)

I mentioned that I was on another read through and that I had just read chapter 12 again, ‘Now That’s Painful’, and that there is someone I know who could really do with understanding the point made in this chapter. This is someone who appears to have difficulties letting go of things. She is a very giving person and yet it appears thinks she has very little worth; she is the one who always remembers anniversaries and birthdays and things like that. This also doesn’t take into account all the time she gives to people and organisations that she supports.

“You must write about this…”

My friend encouraged my to write about this subject during our conversation. It has been lovely when people have let me know that the things that have been written here have helped them. The love that is flowing because of this website and the interactions on it, and because of it, is wonderful. To know that together we are helping is all that matters really. That after all, is why I do this, to help people.


Andy asks the question, do you think you are adding to your pain? He then asks how we answered. He takes us through how living in the present while choosing to understand how our life is created by us or our ego (consciously or unconsciously) and how this effects things for us. This, if we choose to understand it, is something that we can control.

What is the point in talking about resentment?

The point I would like to get across here is that resentment is one of those things, like fear and worry, that we have a choice about and it can greatly benefit us if we learn to let go of it.

After all, what is the benefit of hanging on to resentment? It only perpetuates the pain, where is the benefit in that?

Second point – a new one on me!

Now, the second point is this, and I have only just understood this for myself.

There are two ways we can ‘deal’ with resentment, firstly we can push it away. That is hide it, put it in a box somewhere in our mind and lock the box and pretend it isn’t there.

What we don’t know is that its presence is still being felt by us even if we don’t think it can be, now that we have locked it away. It continues to burrow away even if we don’t realise it. And this may be something that you recognise – suddenly the old resentment escapes from the box and it is there, full on again, creating pain in our lives.

Yes, I realised this time through that I did indeed have resentment that I had hidden, now for the powerful bit…

Powerful bit!

The second way we can deal with resentment is, knowing that it has no benefit for us, look at is closely and shine the light of understanding on it. It will then dissolve itself.

Once it has dissolved it is gone forever, it cannot return.

First time?

If you have never done this before it may seem strange and you might think it will be difficult. It doesn’t have to be.

Andy advises, and I concur, don’t fight it, just relax. Go with it slowly and see resentment for what it is, worthless. Start small if you need to and work up to the bigger resentments when you are ready. Starting small lets you practise and build up your emotional strength.


Once you realise that things you resent are not as big as you thought they were, you will be able to move forward and let them go, after all they don’t hold any value for you.

I trust that this information has been useful and, if you are in need of dumping some resentment, then it will have helped.

Best wishes


2 thoughts on “Resentment – any benefit?

  1. Pingback: Opening Hearts – Universal Law Coaching | Alastair Slade

  2. Pingback: Unconditional Love and Anger | Alastair Slade

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