I am sure you have come across this before. When you are talking to others or listening to others talking there are comments made that are not positive or even neutral.
Things that put a person down or bring old hurts up from the past and generally don’t make the day better.
This can be our thoughts as well though, things that we think about that don’t help or move things forward are included here.
Sinister, treacherous, crafty, stealthy, these are just some of the synonyms for insidious.
Why Insidious Negativity is my subject today
I have been on the receiving end of some of this over the years and I have learnt, through reading and listening to various publications and audio books that it is possible to side step negativity to stop it effecting how I am feeling. (The coolest thought on this is to do with how the universe has been created and what that means at a quantum level but that will have to wait for another day!)
Why would you want to sidestep negativity?
I have also learnt that you attract to you those things that are your dominant thought. This means that if your dominant thought is negative, guess what, you will get, more negativity.
You can prove this to yourself if you want to. Imagine walking into a room full of people with a grumpy and unhappy face on, how different would the reaction of those people be to you if you were smiling instead? Think about it as if you were someone in the room and you saw yourself walk in. Grumpy person verses happy person, I wonder how you would react?
Therefore, if you are in a negative environment or talking people down behind their backs or generally not being kind about something or someone then you are attracting more of that to you. By learning to side step negativity we can reduce its damaging effects on us.
One trick I have learnt when people are talking to me about someone and being negative is to think of something positive or good that that person has done and bring the conversation around to that. The effect this has is that the person who is being negative stops, as they soon learn, consciously or unconsciously that you are going to find something nice to say about the person they are bitching about!
I am getting off topic here, let’s get back on track
When people talk to each other there are times when the phrases that they use are negative instead of neutral or positive. We all use this way of talking from time to time and, although I am getting better at not doing so, I still slip from time to time and react too quickly and don’t fully engage my brain before opening my mouth!
How do you feel about negativity?
I trust that you know that you can choose how you feel in any circumstance. If that isn’t your reality maybe you could take a moment to consider this, it really is so. A friend of mine is sometimes upset or angry about something and I will gently remind them of this fact and they momentarily get cross with me and then we have a laugh and they normally say, ‘and yes, I am choosing to be angry about this’. That is of course, their choice. The point is, if you are choosing to be angry or upset about something you can choose not to be as well. You really are in control. It is your choice – so choose wisely!
The Negativity Wind
Let’s imagine that we are walking along and that negativity is like the wind.
If there isn’t much or none at all then walking is easy (feeling happy about things is easy to achieve).
If however the wind is up and we are having to push hard against the wind to move forward (having to work hard to consciously choose to be happy in a storm of negativity), its just harder than it needs to be!
Yes, we can all reach this point if we are pushed hard enough.
This is what happened to me the other day and it was as if I was pushing hard against the wind of negativity and suddenly from nowhere, and you will have to excuse my sailing metaphor here, a large sail attached to me was hoisted up the mast and caught the wind full on.
I couldn’t take it any more, I didn’t have the strength to push against the wind and it pushed me backwards very quickly into reacting badly.
Nothing really bad I hasten to add, just raised voices for a few seconds, but still, unnecessary negativity that didn’t benefit the world.
That is exactly what it was, an eye opener, and therefore I am grateful it happened.
It let me see once again that I truly can choose how I feel as, once I had regained control I could see exactly what had happened and next time, if there is a next time, I will be more aware of what is going on and I will watch to see if that sail is about to be hoisted or better still, I will get out of the wind and stay cosy warm.
One last thing…
Not sure exactly how to put this but I also saw that day a maturity and level of kindness and love before unseen in someone that was wonderfully refreshing and humbling. You know who you are, and my love goes out to you, thank you again.