Category Archives: Thoughts on Life

Just things that come into my mind when thinking of others…

Insidious Negativity

Say what?

Negativity:

Storm Approaching?

Storm approaching?

I am sure you have come across this before. When you are talking to others or listening to others talking there are comments made that are not positive or even neutral.

Things that put a person down or bring old hurts up from the past and generally don’t make the day better.

This can be our thoughts as well though, things that we think about that don’t help or move things forward are included here.

Insidious:

Sinister, treacherous, crafty, stealthy, these are just some of the synonyms for insidious.

Why Insidious Negativity is my subject today

I have been on the receiving end of some of this over the years and I have learnt, through reading and listening to various publications and audio books that it is possible to side step negativity to stop it effecting how I am feeling. (The coolest thought on this is to do with how the universe has been created and what that means at a quantum level but that will have to wait for another day!)

Why would you want to sidestep negativity?

I have also learnt that you attract to you those things that are your dominant thought. This means that if your dominant thought is negative, guess what, you will get, more negativity.

You can prove this to yourself if you want to. Imagine walking into a room full of people with a grumpy and unhappy face on, how different would the reaction of those people be to you if you were smiling instead? Think about it as if you were someone in the room and you saw yourself walk in. Grumpy person verses happy person, I wonder how you would react?

Therefore, if you are in a negative environment or talking people down behind their backs or generally not being kind about something or someone then you are attracting more of that to you. By learning to side step negativity we can reduce its damaging effects on us.

One trick I have learnt when people are talking to me about someone and being negative is to think of something positive or good that that person has done and bring the conversation around to that. The effect this has is that the person who is being negative stops, as they soon learn, consciously or unconsciously that you are going to find something nice to say about the person they are bitching about!

I am getting off topic here, let’s get back on track

When people talk to each other there are times when the phrases that they use are negative instead of neutral or positive. We all use this way of talking from time to time and, although I am getting better at not doing so, I still slip from time to time and react too quickly and don’t fully engage my brain before opening my mouth!

How do you feel about negativity?

I trust that you know that you can choose how you feel in any circumstance. If that isn’t your reality maybe you could take a moment to consider this, it really is so. A friend of mine is sometimes upset or angry about something and I will gently remind them of this fact and they momentarily get cross with me and then we have a laugh and they normally say, ‘and yes, I am choosing to be angry about this’. That is of course, their choice. The point is, if you are choosing to be angry or upset about something you can choose not to be as well. You really are in control. It is your choice – so choose wisely!

The Negativity Wind

Let’s imagine that we are walking along and that negativity is like the wind.

If there isn’t much or none at all then walking is easy (feeling happy about things is easy to achieve).

If however the wind is up and we are having to push hard against the wind to move forward (having to work hard to consciously choose to be happy in a storm of negativity), its just harder than it needs to be!

Breaking Point

What kind of wind is in your sails?

What kind of wind is in your sails?

Yes, we can all reach this point if we are pushed hard enough.

This is what happened to me the other day and it was as if I was pushing hard against the wind of negativity and suddenly from nowhere, and you will have to excuse my sailing metaphor here, a large sail attached to me was hoisted up the mast and caught the wind full on.

I couldn’t take it any more, I didn’t have the strength to push against the wind and it pushed me backwards very quickly into reacting badly.

Nothing really bad I hasten to add, just raised voices for a few seconds, but still, unnecessary negativity that didn’t benefit the world.

Eye Opener

That is exactly what it was, an eye opener, and therefore I am grateful it happened.

It let me see once again that I truly can choose how I feel as, once I had regained control I could see exactly what had happened and next time, if there is a next time, I will be more aware of what is going on and I will watch to see if that sail is about to be hoisted or better still, I will get out of the wind and stay cosy warm.

One last thing…

Not sure exactly how to put this but I also saw that day a maturity and level of kindness and love before unseen in someone that was wonderfully refreshing and humbling. You know who you are, and my love goes out to you, thank you again.

Quieting Your Mind

Lots of Thoughts?

One of the things that can hold people back is the inability to have time to think about those things that they desire in life, their goals.

Without goals how will you know what to choose when a decision has to be made? (More on that another day I feel!)

Getting Some Quiet Time

There are times when one needs to quieten the mind so that one can start to introduce guided thoughts rather than just having to react to random thoughts that prevent us creating the lives we desire.

There are various names for the techniques of quietening the mind and being aware of ‘now’ and the power that there is in it.

The best selling author on creating the life you desire, Andy Shaw, calls it ‘No Mind’ and some people have real difficulty achieving this state of calm.

On this video you can see how Eckhart Tolle, another expert on this kind of thing, explains how to do this. He discusses how thinking can be an addiction in fact and how to regain your ‘presence’.

Not sure who said this but it can be said that a desire is a preference and a need is a requirement. The key to inner peace is to elevate ones addictions from addictions to preferences. (It may have been Neale Donald Walsch or he may have been quoting someone else, I only have the quote here so can’t check – if you know who said it please comment to let me know.)

It can also be said that:

Serenity comes when you trade expectation for acceptance.

Help

If you would like to learn more about this then you can access 5 free videos here that will show you how you can take control of your thoughts and tap into the power of your subconscious mind.

If you have any questions about this then please comment and I will reply privately if you mention your email address.

Have a quietly awesome day!

Best wishes

Alastair

 

 

Time for a Sing

Mendip Male Voice Choir are on Tour

As you may know I sing with the choir and we are visiting Swansea on tour this weekend.

Last night we sang in a hospital as we were in the area and had done it last time the choir were here and brought some musical relief to those patients that were within earshot. (At least I trust that’s what we achieved!?)

After singing we were coaches back to the hotel where we all joined together for a lovely meal with good company and great hilarity at times.

This was followed by a ‘few’ drinks in the bar afterwards that finished in the early hours with the hard core revellers having had a great time people watching a wedding party where the groom went missing for a significant amount of time only to return looking somewhat worse for wear towards the end of the evening. Various theories were muted, none of which I feel I can repeat here but several of them included bridesmaids!

Saturday

Before retiring on Friday it was agreed that we would meet for breakfast at 1015 to give us time to recover from the late night. I woke at my customarily early hour anyway and, after rolling over a few times and sleeping a bit more, I got up and felt very virtuous working out in the gym. This was followed by a session in the sauna, jacuzzi and pool before an invigorating shower and joining the others for a massive cooked breakfast!

Those of you who have ever counted calories will know that working out and comparing the number of calories expended in exercise to those available in food can be somewhat dishearteningif you are not careful. Bearing in mind that I only worked off less than two sausages in the whole time I was in the gym and pool!

A number of us then went into Swansea itself and enjoyed a cup of coffee 29 floors up with lovely views across Swansea bay.

After resisting the temptation to shop we returned to the hotel to chill and prepare for the evening concert. (I caught up on some sleep and had a read!)

I am currently sitting in a choir stall awaiting the start of the concert.

 

More to follow (assuming I survive!)

 

 

 

 

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Alastair

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Reflections on Peace in our World

PeaceReflections on Peace in Our World

These are some of the things I have come to realise about how things are.

  • Would the world be a more peaceful and loving place if these things were more understood and lived?

I understand and, even though I am not fully able to apply them all the time, I am learning to live by the following more and more each day:

  • I can only change one person, and that is myself.
  • I  should not try to change others.
  • To trust that if a message is right for someone it will be heard.
  • That there are times and situations that bring up emotions and feelings in me that are normally locked away and do not surface in my normal day-to-day life and it is up to me how I react to them; I can after all, choose how I feel.
  • That my ego plays a large part in my reactions when I am not present and I am becoming more and more present every day.
  • That if I feel upset or angry about something someone else is doing, going and looking in a mirror and asking myself, “What is it about the actions of the other person that I don’t like about myself?” is a very powerful way to find out more about myself.
  • When I discover something that I don’t like about myself by looking in the mirror, asking “What is the benefit?”, seeing there is none and moving forward having left it behind.
  • There is no point in worrying, right now you are either dealing with a situation, preparing to deal with it or waiting to do so, what is the point in worrying about it?
  • That I can truly choose how I feel in any situation, if I have control of my mind.
  • That I am creating my life every day and that my dominant thought will become my reality.
  • Judgement is weakness, observation is power, judge no-one.
  • That God is bigger than any religion.
  • When I spend time each day taking back control of my mind it serves to accelerate the positive life I am creating.
  • That harbouring damaging emotions, like resentment, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, it only hurts me.
  • That it is not my place to react on someone else’s behalf.
  • That serenity comes when I exchange expectation for acceptance.
  • That forgiveness is a very powerful thing and total forgiveness is essential for harmonious living.
  • Remembering that fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real.
  • Acting from the highest thought, that of love, will always be the right thing to do and recognising what that thought is.
  • Understanding that I have an unlimited supply of love to share in the world, and sharing it!
  • That if I approach every situation from the perspective of unconditional love, there is no need or room for blame, judgement, negative emotion or anger.
  • That, if I find out I have upset someone, my first thought is, how do I put this right  and my first action is to do so.
  • That, when we accept the past is just that, the past, and accept that we cannot change it, we free ourselves from any hold it may have had over us. It is just there for us to learn from, not to have a hold over us. What is, is, accept it and move on.
  • When I smile at least five times a day for no reason my heart is lifted and the world is a better place.
  • Every moment of every day is a new beginning, let go of the past.

I trust the above helps you, if it raises questions then that is good, ask them. First ask them of yourself and look to your feelings and listen carefully, maybe you really know what to do next already, you just haven’t listened hard enough yet. Look into your heart and find out what the answer really is.

I would love to know your thoughts on this, I invite you to get in touch.

One last thought, remember that there is only now, the past is only there for the lessons we can learn from it. It has no hold over us. The future is yours to mould, live in the now and enjoy every moment. For now is a gift, that is why it is called the present!

Best wishes

Alastair

Unconcious People

Unconscious – Not Present

Not as, ‘in a coma’!

I mentioned this on the Home page of this blog.

(Post publishing note: this is a very long post, you may need to persevere and read it a few times to get it, don’t let your ego stop you!)

If you find yourself in a situation where someone is behaving strangely or unreasonably (in your opinion) towards things you are saying or doing, remember that they may not be in control of how they appear to be choosing to react. In fact it might be worse than that.

Are they conscious?

If they are ‘unconscious’ then it is not actually them that is responding, but their ego. In any event you don’t have to be offended or hurt by their comments or behaviour, as it is not the person themselves that are doing what they are doing, but their ego.

Your job then, if there be such a thing, is to resist the temptation to react and to in fact shine the light by not reacting. Serenity comes when you exchange expectation for acceptance. (Can’t remember who said that, so if you know please comment below and I will attribute it correctly.)

Who can you change?

Remember, there is only one person you can change, yourself, you cannot change anyone else. This is not a holier than thou statement, it is just a fact that it is very useful to remember. We all forget it from time to time and, however much we would like someone to change, especially as we may believe it would be in their best interest to do so, we cannot make them. In fact we shouldn’t even try. Trying may just make matters worse and end up causing more pain than just leaving someone to figure something out on their own. After all, that is what they are going to have to do anyway.

Set your intention on serenity and this will help enable you to accept what is and to know that ‘What is, is’, that is the power of acceptance. Once you do that the ego driven behaviour of others can no longer touch you.

Don’t be tempted to answer back or give them the impression you are above them, as none of us is above any other, we are simply ourselves living our own truths. If the other person cannot accept that, at this point in their journey, and you don’t want to get involved in that kind of discussion right now, then don’t say anything at all. If they carry on pushing you could then tell them kindly that you don’t have anything to add to the conversation at this time and walk away.

Keep cool!

Above all keep cool. Nothing can be gained from trying to score points. Looking deeper, and depending on what your truth is, you may agree that in fact we are all connected anyway and so in showing love towards the person in question, even covertly if you feel it right to do so, will be enough to start the healing process.

Fact

The most important thing to remember is that you and you alone are responsible for how you feel about anything. If you choose to be happy about a situation, you can be. Again, that isn’t a holier than thou statement, it is just a fact.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t feel sad about things when sad things happen, it is  the case however, that when an event occurs that makes us sad or unhappy, we have the choice of how we view that event. If, and only if, we are able to take control of our minds and not let our ego dictate our reaction, can we make the decision to choose how we wish to feel, and, if we choose to, choose to be happy.

Of course, someone may be in such a place right now (normally where there ego is still in control) that means they cannot see, or at least they currently cannot see, that they even have that choice. It may even be that their conscious mind knows that they have the choice but their ego is preventing them making the connection.

Feeling under attack?

So, if you feel that you are being attacked verbally or emotionally, take a deep breath and say to yourself, ‘I choose to be happy now’. Those six words are very powerful. Your ego will probably be telling you right now that it is not as simple at that. Of course that is what it is saying, it has a vested interest in making you think that. It wants to keep control and if it thinks you are about to start taking away its control that is exactly what it is going to make you think.

Taking back control

There are ways to take back control of your mind much more quickly than most people would have you believe. I can say this from personal experience.

Don’t get me wrong…

I am not saying I am perfect or different from you, please don’t think that, for I am not. I am just like you. But one thing I may be able to do that you may not, is to choose to calm my mind and reset my emotions in a way that allows me to choose to be happy in a situation, or after a situation has arisen, where you may not, yet.

Still getting it wrong

I can’t always do this quickly enough to stop those ego driven reflex action comments leaving my mouth that manage to escape before I get control though. These comments may then be received by others in a way that allows their ego to make them choose to be something other than happy. (Let us not forget that those comments are coming from the ego of the other person and are therefore not to be taken as coming from the true person within. Because, let’s face it, if we are truly present and our intention is always from the highest thought, that thought of love and of helping people, then why would we say anything to cause offence or unhappiness in or to another human being, or any other being come to that?)

Look deeper

If you look to your feelings, and can get past any egoic reaction, you will know in your heart that you would only wish the best for others. If it is true for you then it is true for them. The only thing that gets in the way is our egos. Control your ego and you are on the path to being a better human being. For isn’t it better to be loving and caring towards others?

Wow, that went to places I didn’t expect it to!!!! Thank you to those who are helping me to grow and enabling me to share these thoughts with you in this way.

What are your experiences of this kind of thing?

Whether you agree or disagree I would love to hear from you. Comment below if you would like to join the conversation (write ‘private’ in the top of the comment if you would rather it was not published here and then include an email address if you would like me to get back to you).

If you would like to learn more about how you can take back control and start to bring abut change in your life much more quickly than you may think possible, then take a look at this.

Best wishes

Alastair

 

Jumping to Conclusions

 

How Wrong We Can Be!

Do you jump to conclusions?

I was driving through the wonderful West Country of England the other day and, just after I had overtaken a bunch of cars around a sweeping climbing bend, (you know how good that feels if you are a driver) I ended up behind several lorries.

My first thought was that it would be really good if they could be turning left at the next junction as I was going straight on. They dutifully did so, which was very nice of them, leaving the road clear except for…

What next…

Well, when I first saw what came next, my reaction was, my goodness, he’s driving very close to that car in front of him!!!! (Actually I think it was a bit stronger than that.)

This was because, from where I was sitting, it looked like the driver of what was a sporty car with a big spoiler on the back, was driving about six feet behind the car in front of it.

The car stayed that close for the next series of flowing corners, I thought, getting ready to overtake on the next available straight bit of road.

Nutter!

That straight arrived and, as I had hung back a bit in case the nutter in the car got something wrong and I had to stop quickly, I got ready to follow the driver past the slightly slower car in front of it. I knew I would be able to as I know the road and there would be room if there was nothing coming the other way.

Something strange?

Nothing happened, the car stayed six feet behind the car in front of it. I couldn’t believe it, I thought I was seeing things! Then I thought that the driver was making a point and just being silly

I waited a sensible amount of time then made my move on that straight bit of road…

Guess what I saw as I overtook the two cars?

That second car was being towed by the first one!!!!

How can this help us?

Well, if we have jumped to a conclusion about something or somebody, whether recently or it could be years ago, maybe now is the time to mend old wounds and remember that the past has no hold over us and we should only look back on events in the past in terms of learning from them. After all, ‘What is, is’. There is only now.

If we feel someone has wronged us it is probably only us who have even remembered it, let alone are feeling negative about it.

I know we have all held on to things from the past when we didn’t need to. In a strange way I almost had the reverse negative experience. I once dropped my youngest off at nursery school and I had said goodbye in the normal way and I always used to wave at him as I walked past the window on the way off the premises.

This time my mobile rang as I walked around the corner and I got engrossed in the call, guess what, I didn’t wave.

I didn’t think any more about it until I went to pick him up and the person looking after him said he had watched me walk away vainly waiting for me to wave to him. He was quite I upset she said. I felt awful. I didn’t want to bring it up again then, as I didn’t want to bring all those negative emotions to the surface again and upset him.

The midsts of time...

The midsts of time…

A while later he and I were talking about something else related to this kind of thing and I mentioned the event described above. Do you know what, he didn’t even remember it. I have written before about learning from those younger than ourselves and here it is again. It happened, its relevance was slight in the grand scheme of things and he moved on. A great example of letting go and remembering that ‘What is, is’.

Let go of the past and start enjoying every minute of this journey (of life).

If for any reason you don’t know that you can let go of your past then I would love to help if you would like me to. Get in touch!

Best wishes

Alastair

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn from Your Children

That time has come!

No one has a monopoly on good ideas

Recently I had one of those experiences where one of your children, if you have been blessed with any, or it could just be someone younger than you, if you haven’t,  shows you that you may not have done something as well as you could have.

This is not a negative thing, just one of those things that, when you look back, you can see that there was something else you could have done at the time that would have moved the situation forward more than you managed to, thanks Joe. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart!

Remember that to move forward on our journeys we need to make mistakes. The most important thing we must all remember though is that when making mistakes we are learning. What ever happens is always for the best anyway.

If we have a situation we need to deal with or a decision to make, remember that if we are wrong then we have learnt something and we win, if we were right then we win big, in either case we win.

You cannot ‘fail’ in life. You will get to the end, that is for certain. The question is, will you make the most of it? You will have to live every day until you get to the end, enjoy it. If you are not in a good place right now, decide that you have changed and that you now are, everything else WILL follow. If you don’t believe me take a look at this and let me know what you think! Don’t judge remember, just observe, that is one of the most important things in life to remember. Judgement is weakness, observation is power.

What you will see is an introduction to something that really helped me on my journey, take a look, you never know, maybe you were meant to read this and now is the time to act.

My thoughts and best wishes go with you.

Alastair

 

Time for a Baggage Clear Out?

Who Needs Baggage?

Where to Start… My take on Chapter 4 of ABFM, Lightening the Load

Worry Free

Choose to be happy now, it really is your choice.

Below are some of my thoughts on the process of getting to be Bug Free! I urge you to visit A Bug Free Mind and read the first five chapters free. It really will change your life, it did for me!

I can only touch the surface here, follow the books and you will really know what it is to be truly happy and worry free.

You probably don’t ‘believe’ it is possible to be worry free. After all, that’s not possible is it? Well, you really can choose to be worry free. I have, is it time that you did too? It is the greatest gift I have ever been given!

Why Worry?

In order to clear out the baggage you first need to get control of your mind. If you don’t then the junk just keeps coming back.

What does that mean? It means that if you are sitting in a quiet room and your mind is full of thoughts and you can’t control them, you are not in control.

I wrote something on this here. Once you get control then it’s time to get rid of some of that baggage, after all, why would you want to be carrying it around?

There are things in life that are very traumatic and they can be very destructive if they are not dealt with. There are things that you probably look back on and wish they hadn’t happened. And what of the future, do you worry about that? Most people do it has to be said.

Can you change the past?

If something happened in the past there is nothing you can do about it, NOTHING. It happened, it just is. As it ‘just is’ what is the point in worrying about it now? What possible benefit can there be? There is just NOW.

Let the sun set on your past... it is not relevant to today except as a lesson that has been learnt.

Let the sun set on your past… it is not relevant to today except as a lesson that has been learnt.

So are you ready to take back control? How did you end up reading this? Is the time right for you to put some stuff behind you and move on.

If you are in that place right now I would love you to know that we are all rooting for you, you can move forward, you can take control. I know, I have.

That doesn’t mean I have everything sorted by the way, we are all on a journey, I am on the same journey as you. What I do know is that I am always moving forward and living in the moment. We never ‘know’ everything there is to know in this life…if we did, where would be the fun in that?

Remember, there is only one person you can change and that is YOU.

I am going to re-quote the saying Julie told me that is on the home page of this site, Anger (or bitterness or resentment) is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Banish anger, bitterness and resentment from your life and feel the load lighten immediately. Whoever you have that resentment towards probably doesn’t even realise (or care) that you feel that way anyway. So what use is there in hanging on to it?

(In writing this I have actually just realised that I was holding on to some resentment that has no place in my life. Thank you to you if your situation encouraged me to write this as you have actually helped me. In helping me you will have helped yourself.)

So, to all of those who desire to move forward and start putting anger, resentment and bitterness behind them, I wish you the very best with all my heart.

Best wishes

Alastair