Author Archives: Alastair Slade

Jumping to Conclusions

 

How Wrong We Can Be!

Do you jump to conclusions?

I was driving through the wonderful West Country of England the other day and, just after I had overtaken a bunch of cars around a sweeping climbing bend, (you know how good that feels if you are a driver) I ended up behind several lorries.

My first thought was that it would be really good if they could be turning left at the next junction as I was going straight on. They dutifully did so, which was very nice of them, leaving the road clear except for…

What next…

Well, when I first saw what came next, my reaction was, my goodness, he’s driving very close to that car in front of him!!!! (Actually I think it was a bit stronger than that.)

This was because, from where I was sitting, it looked like the driver of what was a sporty car with a big spoiler on the back, was driving about six feet behind the car in front of it.

The car stayed that close for the next series of flowing corners, I thought, getting ready to overtake on the next available straight bit of road.

Nutter!

That straight arrived and, as I had hung back a bit in case the nutter in the car got something wrong and I had to stop quickly, I got ready to follow the driver past the slightly slower car in front of it. I knew I would be able to as I know the road and there would be room if there was nothing coming the other way.

Something strange?

Nothing happened, the car stayed six feet behind the car in front of it. I couldn’t believe it, I thought I was seeing things! Then I thought that the driver was making a point and just being silly

I waited a sensible amount of time then made my move on that straight bit of road…

Guess what I saw as I overtook the two cars?

That second car was being towed by the first one!!!!

How can this help us?

Well, if we have jumped to a conclusion about something or somebody, whether recently or it could be years ago, maybe now is the time to mend old wounds and remember that the past has no hold over us and we should only look back on events in the past in terms of learning from them. After all, ‘What is, is’. There is only now.

If we feel someone has wronged us it is probably only us who have even remembered it, let alone are feeling negative about it.

I know we have all held on to things from the past when we didn’t need to. In a strange way I almost had the reverse negative experience. I once dropped my youngest off at nursery school and I had said goodbye in the normal way and I always used to wave at him as I walked past the window on the way off the premises.

This time my mobile rang as I walked around the corner and I got engrossed in the call, guess what, I didn’t wave.

I didn’t think any more about it until I went to pick him up and the person looking after him said he had watched me walk away vainly waiting for me to wave to him. He was quite I upset she said. I felt awful. I didn’t want to bring it up again then, as I didn’t want to bring all those negative emotions to the surface again and upset him.

The midsts of time...

The midsts of time…

A while later he and I were talking about something else related to this kind of thing and I mentioned the event described above. Do you know what, he didn’t even remember it. I have written before about learning from those younger than ourselves and here it is again. It happened, its relevance was slight in the grand scheme of things and he moved on. A great example of letting go and remembering that ‘What is, is’.

Let go of the past and start enjoying every minute of this journey (of life).

If for any reason you don’t know that you can let go of your past then I would love to help if you would like me to. Get in touch!

Best wishes

Alastair

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn from Your Children

That time has come!

No one has a monopoly on good ideas

Recently I had one of those experiences where one of your children, if you have been blessed with any, or it could just be someone younger than you, if you haven’t,  shows you that you may not have done something as well as you could have.

This is not a negative thing, just one of those things that, when you look back, you can see that there was something else you could have done at the time that would have moved the situation forward more than you managed to, thanks Joe. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart!

Remember that to move forward on our journeys we need to make mistakes. The most important thing we must all remember though is that when making mistakes we are learning. What ever happens is always for the best anyway.

If we have a situation we need to deal with or a decision to make, remember that if we are wrong then we have learnt something and we win, if we were right then we win big, in either case we win.

You cannot ‘fail’ in life. You will get to the end, that is for certain. The question is, will you make the most of it? You will have to live every day until you get to the end, enjoy it. If you are not in a good place right now, decide that you have changed and that you now are, everything else WILL follow. If you don’t believe me take a look at this and let me know what you think! Don’t judge remember, just observe, that is one of the most important things in life to remember. Judgement is weakness, observation is power.

What you will see is an introduction to something that really helped me on my journey, take a look, you never know, maybe you were meant to read this and now is the time to act.

My thoughts and best wishes go with you.

Alastair

 

Back in the USA

uAttend International Summit

Quick Update

I am currently about to nip off to the gym to work off some of the lovely food we have been enjoying here at the summit.

uAttend shows you what we are meeting about and things are really looking exciting with the plans that we are discussing for the system, more to follow on that is due course over on the uAttend site, Time and Attendance has never been so exciting!

If you want a glimpse of where I am check this out!

La Costa

The resort where I am staying.

Time for a Baggage Clear Out?

Who Needs Baggage?

Where to Start… My take on Chapter 4 of ABFM, Lightening the Load

Worry Free

Choose to be happy now, it really is your choice.

Below are some of my thoughts on the process of getting to be Bug Free! I urge you to visit A Bug Free Mind and read the first five chapters free. It really will change your life, it did for me!

I can only touch the surface here, follow the books and you will really know what it is to be truly happy and worry free.

You probably don’t ‘believe’ it is possible to be worry free. After all, that’s not possible is it? Well, you really can choose to be worry free. I have, is it time that you did too? It is the greatest gift I have ever been given!

Why Worry?

In order to clear out the baggage you first need to get control of your mind. If you don’t then the junk just keeps coming back.

What does that mean? It means that if you are sitting in a quiet room and your mind is full of thoughts and you can’t control them, you are not in control.

I wrote something on this here. Once you get control then it’s time to get rid of some of that baggage, after all, why would you want to be carrying it around?

There are things in life that are very traumatic and they can be very destructive if they are not dealt with. There are things that you probably look back on and wish they hadn’t happened. And what of the future, do you worry about that? Most people do it has to be said.

Can you change the past?

If something happened in the past there is nothing you can do about it, NOTHING. It happened, it just is. As it ‘just is’ what is the point in worrying about it now? What possible benefit can there be? There is just NOW.

Let the sun set on your past... it is not relevant to today except as a lesson that has been learnt.

Let the sun set on your past… it is not relevant to today except as a lesson that has been learnt.

So are you ready to take back control? How did you end up reading this? Is the time right for you to put some stuff behind you and move on.

If you are in that place right now I would love you to know that we are all rooting for you, you can move forward, you can take control. I know, I have.

That doesn’t mean I have everything sorted by the way, we are all on a journey, I am on the same journey as you. What I do know is that I am always moving forward and living in the moment. We never ‘know’ everything there is to know in this life…if we did, where would be the fun in that?

Remember, there is only one person you can change and that is YOU.

I am going to re-quote the saying that is on the home page of this site, Anger (or bitterness or resentment) is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Banish anger, bitterness and resentment from your life and feel the load lighten immediately. Whoever you have that resentment towards probably doesn’t even realise (or care) that you feel that way anyway. So what use is there in hanging on to it?

(In writing this I have actually just realised that I was holding on to some resentment that has no place in my life. Thank you to you if your situation encouraged me to write this as you have actually helped me. In helping me you will have helped yourself.)

So, to all of those who desire to move forward and start putting anger, resentment and bitterness behind them, I wish you the very best with all my heart.

Best wishes

Alastair

Quality Time

What is Quality Time?

Yesterday Evening

Someone once told me that, ‘Quality time, is time you can’t have again’. Not sure if it was his own maxim or a quote from someone else, but I know one thing, he was right!

The Compton Inn

The Compton Inn

Yesterday evening I was lucky enough to share a lovely meal at the Compton Inn with that very person (our wives were with us as well).

We share a meal from time to time and visit different restaurants depending on who is choosing. They are sometimes return visits and sometimes new places. Last night was a return visit.

Conversation

As we ate, the conversation moved backwards and forwards through time and space in many different directions as it is wont to do.

As we have children of similar ages they often turn up in the conversation thread. Last night was no exception, and, as most of them are having exams or have just finished them, we commiserated with each other on how we would love our children to be able to learn from our experience. I suspect this is a desire of many of those of us who are blessed with children?

I use the word ‘blessed’ there with my tongue a little in my cheek, as we all know that although children can bring enormous amounts of joy into our lives, they can also be a challenge at times.

Share your thoughts on this using the comments below if you like. If you don’t want your comment published and just wish to add something privately just say so in your comment.

Past, Present and Future

The midsts of time...

The midsts of time…

I love the way that conversation can move so quickly through time. One minute talking about something that is due to happen in the future, like holidays, and then reminiscing about times when we worked together in the distant past.

My problem is that I can talk and talk (and talk). Luckily for me, my ex-wife and friends are very kind and, apart from the odd kick under the table, they let me prattle on and on. I do catch myself doing it sometimes and try to shut up for a bit to give others a chance, but I often slip back into talk mode inadvertently.

Ratios

There is a saying that says that, as you have two ears and one mouth, you should use them in that ratio. I have also heard it extended to, two ears, two eyes and a mouth. My long suffering friends may be thinking I should take my own council here!

So, quality time was had and we enjoyed another lovely evening. If you haven’t had an evening out with friends recently maybe now is the time to invite them out, or, if your circumstances dictate, just invite them round for chat, you don’t have to go out and spend a lot to have quality time in your life.

Some would say, me included, that actually, some of the best time spent with family and friends is when no money has been spent at all.

Plan in some quality time today! Although time is an illusion, you will run out eventually in this lifetime, why wait?

Best wishes

Alastair

Do ‘you’ have any fears?

 

Feeling Helpless?

Feeling Helpless?

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.

Rudyard Kipling said that and he was right.

We don’t have to fear anything is we can only realise that fear is just an illusion.

The Bug Free response is:

False

Emotions

Appearing

Real

Look into your fears and see them for what they really are, lies told to you by your ego. You are in control and can deal with anything. You just need to ‘know’ that you can.

Have a great holiday weekend without any fear everyone.

Best wishes

Alastair

Serenity

 

Hi

Just heard this in chapter ten, as I am on another listen through, it is so true that you pick up something new every time you listen, must be to do with the more control we get over that ego the more present we are!

 

Serenity comes when you trade expectation for acceptance.

How true is that? It is as true for you as it is (if you see what I mean!).

Any thoughts on that one, let me know…

Best wishes

Alastair

The last couple of days…

Busy times (for the right reasons!)

The week started well and just got better.

We are getting referrals at work from employees moving from one employer to Bristol Airportanother and they recommend our time and attendance systems when they get to their new place of work, keep um coming!

Yesterday was a mixture of great meetings and lots of networking and meeting old friends along the way, happy times. A great time was had at Bristol Airport at the Barclays networking event.

West Quay Shopping Centre

West Quay Shopping Centre

Today was a visit to finish off a big contract and it was great to see the people down there in Southampton reaping the rewards of the great Focus system. West Quay shopping centre is a great place to visit, the food choices alone are worth going for!

 

The day culminated in an in depth session working out the tricky automation of some employee hours for employees who work in the docks, still some work to do here but progress is being made!

Have a great rest of the week everyone.

Best wishes

Alastair

Good Day or Bad Day – it’s Your Choice…

Do you have good and bad days?

Better question:

  • Who decides whether you have a good day or not?

Is it luck…. or fate?

I think it was one of the terminator films with Arnold Schwartzenegger in it that had the quote, ‘There is no fate but what we make.’

How true do you know that statement to be? If you know it to be true, it will be true; it really is as simple as that.

Who is in Control?

Red sky in the morning...?

Red sky in the morning…?

You may be thinking that there is no way you can get out of a bad situation or effect the outcome of your life. Be assured there is and it’s not as difficult as you may think!

We are all creating in our lives, all the time. It just depends on if you are creating positive or negative things.

I recently went on the first Life Design Getaway and that is exactly what we learnt. I even saw things in my past that I had designed on purpose but I didn’t realise I was doing it. How cool is that! I will write up the day we had in the near future so that you can see exactly how good it really is when you find out exactly what you need to do to transform your life. My designs are already coming true!

Is your glass half full or half empty? It can be full if you desire it to be!

Is your glass half full or half empty? It can be full if you desire it to be!

Andy Shaw spent a long time during and after a meltdown in his business life finding out what had changed from the days when everything he touched turned to gold. By looking in depth into the self improvement and self help arena he found out how to use the power that is within all of us to influence things around us. He decided to write a book to share what he discovered. In fact he wrote two, one would just not have been right!

Having met Andy and spent some time late at night in the bar with him, I can tell you that he is a really nice guy who genuinely wants to help the world by enabling people to fulfil their potential.

It has made a big difference to how I ‘run’ my life and means that I no longer have any anxiety, fear or worry. Things from the past no longer have a hold over me and I have an armoury of techniques ready to deal with the times when my ego tries to take control back. (Not sure what your ego is trying to do, see more here.)

To get a taste of what it is like to have a bug free mind and get signed up for a free Starter Kit.

Remember:

  • What is, is, the past has no hold over you unless you let it.
  • You can choose to be happy right now.
  • You can choose to take control of your life today.
  • Always find the positive in everything you do and say.

More on this kind of thing in my Reflections on Peace

If you have any questions about this or any other topics on this website I would welcome them. Likewise, if you have comments that would help those who may be reading this then please also leave those, you may know that when you give to the universe, you receive back with interest, God knows its true!

Best wishes to you all…

Alastair