Author Archives: Alastair Slade

Listening

Do you really listen?

Facebook comment response

My friend Sally put up a comment on Facebook just now telling of how she saw someone walking a child to school and missing the opportunity to talk to them as they were wearing headphones.

This was my response that I felt I should share:

It is good to listen.

Something I have learnt recently is to ‘really’ listen.

Don’t go thinking about your next question or the next point you want to make, just listen.

Take in every word they are saying.

Trust that when they have finished you will know what to say next.

You will, that’s how a conversation works.

Not paying full attention or being distracted by other things is what kills conversation.

Try it, it really helps you get in touch with people.

Best wishes

Alastair

Judgement and Condemnation

Why Not?

When we judge or condemn someone or something, we are judged and condemned ourselves.

So choose not to judge or condemn and instead, see things how they really are and in that you will find peace.

Why did you bring this to yourself today?

Think about it quietly for but a minute and you will know.

Best wishes

Alastair

 

Quieting Your Mind

Lots of Thoughts?

One of the things that can hold people back is the inability to have time to think about those things that they desire in life, their goals.

Without goals how will you know what to choose when a decision has to be made? (More on that another day I feel!)

Getting Some Quiet Time

There are times when one needs to quieten the mind so that one can start to introduce guided thoughts rather than just having to react to random thoughts that prevent us creating the lives we desire.

There are various names for the techniques of quietening the mind and being aware of ‘now’ and the power that there is in it.

The best selling author on creating the life you desire, Andy Shaw, calls it ‘No Mind’ and some people have real difficulty achieving this state of calm.

On this video you can see how Eckhart Tolle, another expert on this kind of thing, explains how to do this. He discusses how thinking can be an addiction in fact and how to regain your ‘presence’.

Not sure who said this but it can be said that a desire is a preference and a need is a requirement. The key to inner peace is to elevate ones addictions from addictions to preferences. (It may have been Neale Donald Walsch or he may have been quoting someone else, I only have the quote here so can’t check – if you know who said it please comment to let me know.)

It can also be said that:

Serenity comes when you trade expectation for acceptance.

Help

If you would like to learn more about this then you can access 5 free videos here that will show you how you can take control of your thoughts and tap into the power of your subconscious mind.

If you have any questions about this then please comment and I will reply privately if you mention your email address.

Have a quietly awesome day!

Best wishes

Alastair

 

 

Time for a Sing

Mendip Male Voice Choir are on Tour

As you may know I sing with the choir and we are visiting Swansea on tour this weekend.

Last night we sang in a hospital as we were in the area and had done it last time the choir were here and brought some musical relief to those patients that were within earshot. (At least I trust that’s what we achieved!?)

After singing we were coaches back to the hotel where we all joined together for a lovely meal with good company and great hilarity at times.

This was followed by a ‘few’ drinks in the bar afterwards that finished in the early hours with the hard core revellers having had a great time people watching a wedding party where the groom went missing for a significant amount of time only to return looking somewhat worse for wear towards the end of the evening. Various theories were muted, none of which I feel I can repeat here but several of them included bridesmaids!

Saturday

Before retiring on Friday it was agreed that we would meet for breakfast at 1015 to give us time to recover from the late night. I woke at my customarily early hour anyway and, after rolling over a few times and sleeping a bit more, I got up and felt very virtuous working out in the gym. This was followed by a session in the sauna, jacuzzi and pool before an invigorating shower and joining the others for a massive cooked breakfast!

Those of you who have ever counted calories will know that working out and comparing the number of calories expended in exercise to those available in food can be somewhat dishearteningif you are not careful. Bearing in mind that I only worked off less than two sausages in the whole time I was in the gym and pool!

A number of us then went into Swansea itself and enjoyed a cup of coffee 29 floors up with lovely views across Swansea bay.

After resisting the temptation to shop we returned to the hotel to chill and prepare for the evening concert. (I caught up on some sleep and had a read!)

I am currently sitting in a choir stall awaiting the start of the concert.

 

More to follow (assuming I survive!)

 

 

 

 

LinkedIn Response

I have had the pleasure of being part of a discussion on Linked In, this was my last comment, I thought it might be useful…

You may be able to search for the full conversation if you are on Linked In.

LinkedIn Comment

Thank you for your comments.

I have been on a journey for a while now where I have learnt that there is a way to take control of your life in ways that I never knew were possible.

I have put my thoughts on what I have learnt here www.alastairslade.com.

@ Steve, I commented above on anything being possible. That is a truth for me. (If you think you can’t, you can’t, if you think you can, anything is possible.)

@ Wilson, you mentioned about taking control of your mind, I agree entirely, this is something I wrote on here. http://alastairslade.com/too-many-thoughts/

@ McKella, I love your ‘clearly envision’ statement. I have come to understand that it is even more powerful than we may at first think. On my journey I have learnt that I have far more power over outcomes than I ever dreamt possible.

Also, it is possible to exchange a belief in something for a ‘knowing’. How much more powerful then can your thoughts become. I understand that our thoughts are instrument in creating our reality and that we are actually creating all the time. If we choose to take control of that process our lives can be transformed. So I see every situation as a reflection on how I am ‘thinking’. We create good and bad stuff, just take control and stop creating the bad stuff.

That is where taking control of ones mind is so important. It can be called becoming present.

And that brings us back to happiness. For being happy with any situation takes us towards our goals, or those things we have clearly envisioned.

It has been said ‘be careful what you wish for’. Thinking about the comments above, that means that when our thoughts or our goals are shaping our reality then we need to be careful. If you ‘want’ something then you will get exactly what you ask for. Sounds good? This is the ‘careful’ bit, you will be getting more ‘wanting’ it. If you ‘want’ it remember you don’t have it (or you wouldn’t want it, you would have it!).

Know that you have something and it will be yours.

You are the master of your destiny, that is absolutely correct!

The page link below is to a page where I have summarised everything I have learnt in a ‘few’ lines. Please share it with whomever you think may benefit.

http://alastairslade.com/reflections-on-peace-in-our-world/

Best wishes and thank you so much for your comments.

Alastair

Sam Evans, Andy Slade and Jonny Turner and Friends

A Great Evening’s Entertainment

The Thunderbolt Bristol

The other evening I was privileged to be part of a select group who had the pleasure of hearing Sam, Andy and Jonny doing their stuff at the Thunderbolt.

First up was Jon Parry

Sam Evans and Andy Slade doing their thing!

On location…

The evening started with Jon Parry singing a mixture of covers and his own compositions while accompanying himself on his guitar. It was generally agreed that he should do more of his own stuff which was really good.

You can hear him here:

https://soundcloud.com/jon-parry-acoustic

Second on was Kayla Kelly

Some lovely songs with a lovely voice and guitar style to match perfectly.

The finale was a duet with Sam which was excellent!

Finally it was Sam, Andy and Jonny’s Turn

Andy  is our middle son and he has been playing with Sam and Jonny for quite a while now. They tour around various parts of the globe including extensively in the UK, Southern Ireland and Romania.

Sam plays his guitar and sings, Andy plays a Cajon drum, sometimes with a saxophone over his shoulder, a trade mark of sorts, which he swings into action at the appropriate times during songs and Jonny plays guitar.

The energy and drive that they all show while on stage is great and it was a very uplifting experience.

Sam writes most of the songs they perform but their cover of Billy Jean was also great and the interpretation for the groups make up was excellent.

You can get some of their songs here and I will be linking to a couple of videos that they filmed on the afternoon of the gig in Bristol when they are available.

First Video can be found here:

Other one here…

Listen to a bit I recorded on my phone on the night. Jonny kicks off with a solo guitar intro with Andy joining in on the cajon a little while later. Sam then joins in to complete the trio.

It was a great night guys and you gave it your all, as you always do, keep it up, you will go far!

 

Reflections on Peace in our World

Peace

Reflections on Peace in Our World

These are some of the things I have come to realise about how things are.

  • Would the world be a more peaceful and loving place if these things were more understood and lived?

I understand and, even though I am not fully able to apply them all the time, I am learning to live by the following more and more each day:

  • I can only change one person, and that is myself.
  • I  should not try to change others.
  • To trust that if a message is right for someone it will be heard.
  • That there are times and situations that bring up emotions and feelings in me that are normally locked away and do not surface in my normal day-to-day life and it is up to me how I react to them; I can after all, choose how I feel.
  • That my ego plays a large part in my reactions when I am not present and I am becoming more and more present every day.
  • That if I feel upset or angry about something someone else is doing, going and looking in a mirror and asking myself, “What is it about the actions of the other person that I don’t like about myself?” is a very powerful way to find out more about myself.
  • When I discover something that I don’t like about myself by looking in the mirror, asking “What is the benefit?”, seeing there is none and moving forward having left it behind.
  • There is no point in worrying, right now you are either dealing with a situation, preparing to deal with it or waiting to do so, what is the point in worrying about it?
  • That I can truly choose how I feel in any situation, if I have control of my mind.
  • That I am creating my life every day and that my dominant thought will become my reality.
  • Judgement is weakness, observation is power, judge no-one.
  • That God is bigger than any religion.
  • When I spend time each day taking back control of my mind it serves to accelerate the positive life I am creating.
  • That harbouring damaging emotions, like resentment, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, it only hurts me.
  • That it is not my place to react on someone else’s behalf.
  • That serenity comes when I exchange expectation for acceptance.
  • That forgiveness is a very powerful thing and total forgiveness is essential for harmonious living.
  • Remembering that fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real.
  • Acting from the highest thought, that of love, will always be the right thing to do and recognising what that thought is.
  • Understanding that I have an unlimited supply of love to share in the world, and sharing it!
  • That if I approach every situation from the perspective of unconditional love, there is no need or room for blame, judgement, negative emotion or anger.
  • That, if I find out I have upset someone, my first thought is, how do I put this right  and my first action is to do so.
  • That, when we accept the past is just that, the past, and accept that we cannot change it, we free ourselves from any hold it may have had over us. It is just there for us to learn from, not to have a hold over us. What is, is; accept it and move on.
  • When I smile at least five times a day for no reason my heart is lifted and the world is a better place.
  • Every moment of every day is a new beginning, let go of the past.

I trust the above helps you, if it raises questions then that is good, ask them. First ask them of yourself and look to your emotions and listen carefully, maybe you really know what to do next already, you just haven’t listened hard enough yet. Look into your heart and find out what the answer really is.

I would love to know your thoughts on this, I invite you to get in touch.

One last thought, remember that there is only now, the past is only there for the lessons we can learn from it. It has no hold over us. The future is yours to mould, live in the now and enjoy every moment. For now is a gift, that is why it is called the present!

Best wishes

Alastair

Unconcious People

Unconscious – Not Present

Not as, ‘in a coma’!

I mentioned this on the Home page of this blog.

(Post publishing note: this is a very long post, you may need to persevere and read it a few times to get it, don’t let your ego stop you!)

If you find yourself in a situation where someone is behaving strangely or unreasonably (in your opinion) towards things you are saying or doing, remember that they may not be in control of how they appear to be choosing to react. In fact it might be worse than that.

Are they conscious?

If they are ‘unconscious’ then it is not actually them that is responding, but their ego. In any event you don’t have to be offended or hurt by their comments or behaviour, as it is not the person themselves that are doing what they are doing, but their ego.

Your job then, if there be such a thing, is to resist the temptation to react and to in fact shine the light by not reacting. Serenity comes when you exchange expectation for acceptance. (Can’t remember who said that, so if you know please comment below and I will attribute it correctly.)

Who can you change?

Remember, there is only one person you can change, yourself, you cannot change anyone else. This is not a holier than thou statement, it is just a fact that it is very useful to remember. We all forget it from time to time and, however much we would like someone to change, especially as we may believe it would be in their best interest to do so, we cannot make them. In fact we shouldn’t even try. Trying may just make matters worse and end up causing more pain than just leaving someone to figure something out on their own. After all, that is what they are going to have to do anyway.

Set your intention on serenity and this will help enable you to accept what is and to know that ‘What is, is’, that is the power of acceptance. Once you do that the ego driven behaviour of others can no longer touch you.

Don’t be tempted to answer back or give them the impression you are above them, as none of us is above any other, we are simply ourselves living our own truths. If the other person cannot accept that, at this point in their journey, and you don’t want to get involved in that kind of discussion right now, then don’t say anything at all. If they carry on pushing you could then tell them kindly that you don’t have anything to add to the conversation at this time and walk away.

Keep cool!

Above all keep cool. Nothing can be gained from trying to score points. Looking deeper, and depending on what your truth is, you may agree that in fact we are all connected anyway and so in showing love towards the person in question, even covertly if you feel it right to do so, will be enough to start the healing process.

Fact

The most important thing to remember is that you and you alone are responsible for how you feel about anything. If you choose to be happy about a situation, you can be. Again, that isn’t a holier than thou statement, it is just a fact.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t feel sad about things when sad things happen, it is  the case however, that when an event occurs that makes us sad or unhappy, we have the choice of how we view that event. If, and only if, we are able to take control of our minds and not let our ego dictate our reaction, can we make the decision to choose how we wish to feel, and, if we choose to, choose to be happy.

Of course, someone may be in such a place right now (normally where there ego is still in control) that means they cannot see, or at least they currently cannot see, that they even have that choice. It may even be that their conscious mind knows that they have the choice but their ego is preventing them making the connection.

Feeling under attack?

So, if you feel that you are being attacked verbally or emotionally, take a deep breath and say to yourself, ‘I choose to be happy now’. Those six words are very powerful. Your ego will probably be telling you right now that it is not as simple at that. Of course that is what it is saying, it has a vested interest in making you think that. It wants to keep control and if it thinks you are about to start taking away its control that is exactly what it is going to make you think.

Taking back control

There are ways to take back control of your mind much more quickly than most people would have you believe. I can say this from personal experience.

Don’t get me wrong…

I am not saying I am perfect or different from you, please don’t think that, for I am not. I am just like you. But one thing I may be able to do that you may not, is to choose to calm my mind and reset my emotions in a way that allows me to choose to be happy in a situation, or after a situation has arisen, where you may not, yet.

Still getting it wrong

I can’t always do this quickly enough to stop those ego driven reflex action comments leaving my mouth that manage to escape before I get control though. These comments may then be received by others in a way that allows their ego to make them choose to be something other than happy. (Let us not forget that those comments are coming from the ego of the other person and are therefore not to be taken as coming from the true person within. Because, let’s face it, if we are truly present and our intention is always from the highest thought, that thought of love and of helping people, then why would we say anything to cause offence or unhappiness in or to another human being, or any other being come to that?)

Look deeper

If you look to your feelings, and can get past any egoic reaction, you will know in your heart that you would only wish the best for others. If it is true for you then it is true for them. The only thing that gets in the way is our egos. Control your ego and you are on the path to being a better human being. For isn’t it better to be loving and caring towards others?

Wow, that went to places I didn’t expect it to!!!! Thank you to those who are helping me to grow and enabling me to share these thoughts with you in this way.

What are your experiences of this kind of thing?

Whether you agree or disagree I would love to hear from you. Comment below if you would like to join the conversation (write ‘private’ in the top of the comment if you would rather it was not published here and then include an email address if you would like me to get back to you).

If you would like to learn more about how you can take back control and start to bring abut change in your life much more quickly than you may think possible, then take a look at this.

Best wishes

Alastair