Monthly Archives: August 2013

Unconcious People

Unconscious – Not Present

Not as, ‘in a coma’!

I mentioned this on the Home page of this blog.

(Post publishing note: this is a very long post, you may need to persevere and read it a few times to get it, don’t let your ego stop you!)

If you find yourself in a situation where someone is behaving strangely or unreasonably (in your opinion) towards things you are saying or doing, remember that they may not be in control of how they appear to be choosing to react. In fact it might be worse than that.

Are they conscious?

If they are ‘unconscious’ then it is not actually them that is responding, but their ego. In any event you don’t have to be offended or hurt by their comments or behaviour, as it is not the person themselves that are doing what they are doing, but their ego.

Your job then, if there be such a thing, is to resist the temptation to react and to in fact shine the light by not reacting. Serenity comes when you exchange expectation for acceptance. (Can’t remember who said that, so if you know please comment below and I will attribute it correctly.)

Who can you change?

Remember, there is only one person you can change, yourself, you cannot change anyone else. This is not a holier than thou statement, it is just a fact that it is very useful to remember. We all forget it from time to time and, however much we would like someone to change, especially as we may believe it would be in their best interest to do so, we cannot make them. In fact we shouldn’t even try. Trying may just make matters worse and end up causing more pain than just leaving someone to figure something out on their own. After all, that is what they are going to have to do anyway.

Set your intention on serenity and this will help enable you to accept what is and to know that ‘What is, is’, that is the power of acceptance. Once you do that the ego driven behaviour of others can no longer touch you.

Don’t be tempted to answer back or give them the impression you are above them, as none of us is above any other, we are simply ourselves living our own truths. If the other person cannot accept that, at this point in their journey, and you don’t want to get involved in that kind of discussion right now, then don’t say anything at all. If they carry on pushing you could then tell them kindly that you don’t have anything to add to the conversation at this time and walk away.

Keep cool!

Above all keep cool. Nothing can be gained from trying to score points. Looking deeper, and depending on what your truth is, you may agree that in fact we are all connected anyway and so in showing love towards the person in question, even covertly if you feel it right to do so, will be enough to start the healing process.

Fact

The most important thing to remember is that you and you alone are responsible for how you feel about anything. If you choose to be happy about a situation, you can be. Again, that isn’t a holier than thou statement, it is just a fact.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t feel sad about things when sad things happen, it is  the case however, that when an event occurs that makes us sad or unhappy, we have the choice of how we view that event. If, and only if, we are able to take control of our minds and not let our ego dictate our reaction, can we make the decision to choose how we wish to feel, and, if we choose to, choose to be happy.

Of course, someone may be in such a place right now (normally where there ego is still in control) that means they cannot see, or at least they currently cannot see, that they even have that choice. It may even be that their conscious mind knows that they have the choice but their ego is preventing them making the connection.

Feeling under attack?

So, if you feel that you are being attacked verbally or emotionally, take a deep breath and say to yourself, ‘I choose to be happy now’. Those six words are very powerful. Your ego will probably be telling you right now that it is not as simple at that. Of course that is what it is saying, it has a vested interest in making you think that. It wants to keep control and if it thinks you are about to start taking away its control that is exactly what it is going to make you think.

Taking back control

There are ways to take back control of your mind much more quickly than most people would have you believe. I can say this from personal experience.

Don’t get me wrong…

I am not saying I am perfect or different from you, please don’t think that, for I am not. I am just like you. But one thing I may be able to do that you may not, is to choose to calm my mind and reset my emotions in a way that allows me to choose to be happy in a situation, or after a situation has arisen, where you may not, yet.

Still getting it wrong

I can’t always do this quickly enough to stop those ego driven reflex action comments leaving my mouth that manage to escape before I get control though. These comments may then be received by others in a way that allows their ego to make them choose to be something other than happy. (Let us not forget that those comments are coming from the ego of the other person and are therefore not to be taken as coming from the true person within. Because, let’s face it, if we are truly present and our intention is always from the highest thought, that thought of love and of helping people, then why would we say anything to cause offence or unhappiness in or to another human being, or any other being come to that?)

Look deeper

If you look to your feelings, and can get past any egoic reaction, you will know in your heart that you would only wish the best for others. If it is true for you then it is true for them. The only thing that gets in the way is our egos. Control your ego and you are on the path to being a better human being. For isn’t it better to be loving and caring towards others?

Wow, that went to places I didn’t expect it to!!!! Thank you to those who are helping me to grow and enabling me to share these thoughts with you in this way.

What are your experiences of this kind of thing?

Whether you agree or disagree I would love to hear from you. Comment below if you would like to join the conversation (write ‘private’ in the top of the comment if you would rather it was not published here and then include an email address if you would like me to get back to you).

If you would like to learn more about how you can take back control and start to bring abut change in your life much more quickly than you may think possible, then take a look at this.

Best wishes

Alastair